Tanya Younce, M.Ed., LPCC

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Category Archives: resolving arguments

Six Ways To See Your Life With New Eyes

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.” –Proust If four different people witness a car accident, each on different corners of an intersection, and the police interview them all afterwards, they’re most likely going to get four different stories based on their vantage point.   Same accident […]

How and When To Ask for Change

Let Go Or Be Dragged

One of the greatest things I learned while reading about Buddhism was the concept of detaching from expectations that things be different.  It sounds simple enough, but it’s one of the hardest things we have to learn in our lifetime.  It means that we have to let go of our need to be right, or […]

The Value of Fighting

Verbal “fighting” can actually be useful for a couple, to communicate their thoughts, needs, wants, and feelings.  It can also increase passion in the relationship by going through a heated debate then resolving it with great “make-up sex!”  But the most effective fights have to be packaged in such a way that the focus is […]

Do You Feel Like the Man in Your Relationship?

Right now, I know more women – both friends and clients – who are better educated, have a more stable job, look like cougars, and have more girlfriends and high self-esteem than do their husbands. Why is this?  Women have a (not so) secret desire to have a strong man take charge of more things, […]

Relationships as a Mosaic

“If both of you are the same, then one of you is unnecessary.”  –Wayne Dyer When I was about 9 years old, I used to think that English was the only language in the world, and that people who spoke other languages were just bilingual.  I couldn’t understand, when my parents invited a Venezuelan college […]

Marriage Maintenance

There’s a trend that I’m seeing in my practice that is worthy of, if not in need of further exploration:  people becoming disenchanted with their marriages, feeling stuck, wanting out, but trapped by the guilt of hurting the spouse, disrupting the family unit for their children (if there are any), facing the financial uncertainty, dealing […]

Recalibrating Your Barometer

I’ve always been pretty good at thinking of good analogies to explain some kind of psychological concept, and I came up with this one a couple weeks ago.  I was talking with my husband about his overreaction to minor frustrations, like not being able to find something, or finding out that something is broken.  And […]